Archive for April, 2008

29
Apr
08

Death, Drama, Destruction, Disaster, and Calamity

I am taking an imaginative writing class…. Cause I need that kind of thing… I need to figure out how to make my writing better and more imaginative…. so far we have covered Imagery, voice, character, and setting… all of these were great, they gave me different ways to look at writing my “Medford Vice” Script… and now we are covering Story, and the book says that for a good story there has to be a power struggle… You know a little bit of drama… some sort of conflict… and I thought that is great for my move script… and I thought I should also try to incorporate it into my blog… you know make things a little more interesting for all three of my readers… but…. sorry guys… my life is good…. my life is real good… no power struggle right now… the weather has been pretty good. Last weekend I went camping and it was just flat out amazing. The weather was beautiful, warm, I was with family and friends and it was just great. I didn’t want to come home. It had been a lot of work to organize the whole event, but well worth it. I had My boat…. and I caught a fish
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Dan and Erica had their boat… and we had the dogs…. and Rocket sat on Boston… It was funny…
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Not all my friends were there… but a lot of my friends I rarely see were… so that was cool…. maybe next time all of my friends can be there.
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Yeah… so no drama… and technically it is boring writing… but what do I care… my life is good…. real good… it’s the “best!

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29
Apr
08

Land Of the Free

If you live near me… you must have noticed that we have been receiving warmer, “springish” weather… I know we still get showers, and hail, and threats of snow every couple days… but we have had some decent weather… near 80 degrees… and this warmer weather brings about the perfect weather for my favorite sport…. taking pictures of the trash people put on the road with “Free” signs on them… This stuff is awesome… I mean it… it is genuinely 98% pure trash and should be thrown away… but people put it out there…. sure enough, there it is…. There is one house in particular that stands out… it is out by my brothers… and they always have trash out there… it is great… and across the street are the people who put their trash out there with for sale signs on it… so you have options… free trash… or expensive trash….. I love it….
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So this is the first picture I got last week…. expect more as the weather gets more predictable.

17
Apr
08

Dr. Bat

An Update is posted at the bottom.

The other day a bat fell out of a tree in our back yard. He laid on his back all night and half of the next day. That is when I first saw him. He wasn’t moving at all, so I figured he was dead. I wasn’t happy, because I was going to have to throw his carcass in the trash so the dog wouldn’t eat him. It kind of struck me funny that I had this dead animal in my yard, so like a second grade child I picked up a stick and poked it. HHHSSSSSS!!!! NOT DEAD!!! it spread it’s wings, and I jumped…. so I hung him in a tree in the front yard…. I checked on him in the middle of that night and he was still there. I had done some research and found that Hoary Bats (that is what he is) migrate up here during the spring. We had had some warm weather, but now it was very cold, and this weekend it might snow. I put him in a box for the night and checked on him this morning I gave him some water and tried to feed him a couple moths. He liked the water, but I couldn’t get him to eat the moths… I read up on it and I guess that mealworms are easy to get and good for them so I will try that tomorrow, if he doesn’t take them I will take him down to a rehab center.

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Life is funny…. really funny I signed up for two classes this term. My math 213 class which has been the best class I have ever taken, and an imaginary writing class. I thought the writing class would be fun and it will transfer to SOU next fall. It is so much cooler than I expected. Part of why I took the class is so that I can work on my movie “Medford Vice”… so far I haven’t done much writing for the class just a couple of the exercises out of the book, and I turned in one of my stories from this blog… and my teacher seemed to dig it… we had a great talk today about “character”… I told him that this is such a great class, and I told him about my plans for the movie, and he seemed excited to read some of it… so I will be submitting parts of my script as homework assignments… hopefully this will motivate me to get some of it done.

UPDATE 4-21-08: Dr. Bat flew away last Thursday. I was stoked, cause I am not really qualified to be caring for wild, rabid animals… and I would have felt bad if he would have died… more because there is place in town that does this kind of thing… but all is well… the bat is gone… things are quiet here…. not that they weren’t quiet before… bats don’t make much noise… but still things are quiet here…. too quiet.

07
Apr
08

Terry Wagar… Don’t worry… I’m on the case.

Dear Terry,

I have started to read your comment you posted. It is quite intriguing… that is a deep rooted conspiracy against you… I of course, as an ordinary citizen can do nothing immediately to help you… but I vow to get right to the bottom of this… and I have a few ideas that may help.

So far my investigations have turned up nothing. I of course used, google to check some things out. What I found was that you have posted this comment all over the place. This is good in that it gets your story out for people to see it, but it makes it very hard for me to verify facts and do any proper investigating… but I think that getting your story heard may actually be more important anyway. I think that you should also put pictures of yourself up so that people will know what you look like and vindicate you from all those people that have “pedified” you… That is an interesting word and I have never heard it before, nor have I been able to find a definition anywhere… but the way you used it is that they made you look like a pedophile… well… I thought it would be good to get your picture out with your story so that the public knows that you are not… a pedophile… so I have created a sketch from the feelings I got from reading 3/4 of your story. I also have come up with a small profile of stuff that I gathered from your epic post.

Terry Wagar is from Portland. He is fond of long web posts and commas. However he has a serious aversion to periods. (as for me, I like periods… I like to link them together and create ellipses… and then I overuse/misuse this grammatical theme whenever I can…) Terry however only used 13 periods in his entire post. His post if copied and pasted to a Word document with size 12, New Times Roman font… is 4 pages long, with 2,672 words… and one paragraph… he only used 13 periods and two of those were used in “p.s.”… He did use 146 commas though… so I guess that works…

From this I get the feeling Terry Wagar looks like this….
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Note the use of the “rapist glasses” for that extra-bad-boy look. However, I could be way off… my roommate, Alex, seems to think that Mr. Wagar may have a pony tail…. like:
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That is pretty good… but if Mr. Wagar is trying to hide from his conspirators… he may have grown a mustache and donned a toupĂ©e… and in that case he would look like:
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But then again his mustache would probably be even creepier… more like:
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or if they didn’t have cool Elvis wigs he would have to settle for a wig like:
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But if he’s gonna go that far, he might even try cross dressing… like a granny tranny from Grants Pass, OR… like:
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But hell I don’t really know, maybe he’s not cross-dressing he could just be singing for some lame Portland punk band… but if that was the case I think he would look more like:
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Anyway to anyone reading this, if you see this guy… he is not just some weird pedophile weirdy weirdo… he is just an innocent man that has been the victim of a vast conspiracy by his wife Joan, her manstress Eric “doubleclick” Carlson, their friend Erica, The F.B.I., The Employees of WalMart, maybe some doctors, and his daughters neighbor Donna. And in the process of this conspiracy to murder Terry the have also “pedified” him and ruined his name.

So good luck Terry, and I will keep up with my investigation.

Sincerely,
Aaron Todd Alden, Private Investigator

05
Apr
08

Please help Terry Wagar.

Do I know who he is?… no… do I care?… well…. no?… I just got a comment on my Portland trip post… from Mr. Terry Wagar… naturally I was intrigued and curious… did I read it… no it is very long… but I did read the first couple sentences and it seems like it could be a pretty good read… it seems that Terry has had a conspiracy against him and there is some link between this and his wife, Joan, and her affair with Eric Carlson… is this for real? I don’t know.. but I guess he posts these to blogs all over the internet… I guess the best way to survive a conspiracy such as this it is best to get your story out there. I plan to read this and get right to the bottom of this conspiracy… I have always wanted to be a P.I… Just like Tom Selleck… I think it is time to cut my beard into a sweet mustache and get to work. I plan to keep you all updated… and I will work on a sketch of what I think Mr. Terry Wagar looks like… and some sketches of who I think is behind this conspiracy.