Archive for June, 2007

30
Jun
07

This is Rogue River Rooster Crow

Today was the big parade in Rogue River, OR. The Rooster Crow Parade. Believe me it was intense. If you missed it, I feel sorry for you, but don’t worry I was there to document it for you. To be in the true Rogue River mindset you must live like a Rogue Riverite. When in Rome do as the Romans do; when Rogue River… Since Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, I thought I should start things of right… Rogue River Style… a slice of cold left over pizza off the counter in the morning then off to Cattleman’s Bar for a bloody mary.

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I finished that off just as the parade started. I tell you this town is small, and the parade is likewise pretty small, but it really did have everything you need for a good parade, and more. There were bagpipers,
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SeƱoritas,

senoritas

chickens playing electric guitars,
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Shriners on go-carts,
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two llamas (why?… I don’t know),
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two belly dancers,
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some creepy doctor’s creepy office staff,
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some old ladies on a float with real taxidermied roosters,
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and my favorite… the Realm of Honor and Chivalry…
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why my favorite… cause of this guy… “the boyfriend”
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…. everyone else is really into it, full costume…. He is holding the standard, and wearing the shirt…. but…
Khaki
I’m not buying medieval zip-off khaki cargo pants… those were like 1990’s cool… but not 1690’s cool…. come on if your gunna be in the dork club…. just sport your tights and be proud of the dorkiness… at least I can respect that…. so khaki man you don’t have my respect…. but you did make my day, and the parade a little better.

19
Jun
07

I AIN’t Ignernt!!!!

I really tried to do as little work as possible… I’m not particularly smart anyway, and quite lazy also… if I’m completely honest…. but in the end this is what you get when you strive for mediocrity at Rogue Community College.
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First off… I’d like to thank the academy… you know that one that everyone thanks… and also Burt Reynolds who has been my inspiration throughout my life…. I would also honestly like to thank Rachel who helped me to survive Critical Thinking… the class so boring that I wouldn’t even do the assignments, and only attended one of the two days each week…. Because of Rachel I turned in four of the six required assignments… I would also like to thank Bart and Sam who got me through Geology… and everyone else in all my other classes and a special thanks to James Dunn and Mike Strickler cause I actually enjoyed your classes, and even learned a few things…. I feel like this qualifies me to be a role model… “see kids this is what you can do if you are a high school drop-out… If you just get out there and don’t aply yourself… you too can be like me and go to retard school where they pass you no matter what.” …..I have a feeling I’m gunna fall flat on my face if I ever go to a real school….

19
Jun
07

Searching for my porpoise in life

Yah… I know… my spelling sucks…. but who cares when you don’t know where you belong in this world.

porpoise vs purpose

So I have recently had a bit of an “identity” crisis…. I mean who am I… why am I here… what is my purpose… what is the point…. I recently (6 months ago) started going back to school… trying to make something of myself… do something right finally. It was great. I had stuff to do; homework and such. Not that I actually did most of it, but I was supposed to at least. Most of the time I spent screwing off…. making videos, looking up crazy stuff on the internet, going camping/fishing… what ever… but at least I had purpose… “I was supposed to be doing homework”… now school is out for summer… Alice Cooper is really old and doesn’t comfort me anymore, and I basically feel worthless…. I have nothing that I “need” to do. Sure I’ve been out to the Illinois once last Saturday… I went over to Scott and Tasha’s and helped them with their tile in their bathroom…. I’ve been working… doing concrete for my friend Jesse… but when I’m done with work or fun trip to the river… I have no purpose…. I kind of get bored… I try to get on the internet and waste time, like I did during school…. but since I’m not avoiding anything, there is hardly any point… It’s not near as fun…. I can’t even stand it. I need a project… I need something bigger than myself… who knows like maybe swimming with dolphins or somthin’…. I’ve always said that all I need to be purfectly happy in life is a Barbecue and a trampoline. I bought my barbecue a year ago… but I still haven’t got that trampoline…. I think that is what is really bothering me… I’m really not in a place in my life that facilitates the purchase of a trampoline…. but if there is anyone out there that has one that I could maybe come over and jump on… maybe like two times a week.. or something…. I think that would help me out…. give me something to live for… yah know what I mean.

13
Jun
07

Bologna Log Blog

bologna log blog
“Why” you ask?… “Why the hell not?” is my response. Plus I had a request for it…. And I don’t even care why they would request it… I didn’t even ask. I don’t even like bologna… they did… they like it a lot…. but I will tell you what I would like… I would like to take one of these bologna logs, and cook it up on the Bar-B-Q, then put it on one huge ass loaf of bread… and make one monster of a hotdog… that is what I would like. This is also a good time for me to talk about me going to “retard school.”… I do…. I attend Rogue Communatee Colledge, and it is one of the few colleges that make you feel dumber for attending. But it’s like this experiment I’m working on… it’s called my life… and it’s kind of absurd. You see I like to do things for the wide variety of “experiences.” Sure you say, most people my age do. Yes, but they do lame things… like everyone else… they experiment with drugs… ooooh… like that hasn’t been done before…. whats to experiment with… that’s not new ground… or they have sex with a whole bunch of people…. good for them, I mean in, why not, it’s better than drugs… just wear your rubbers… me…what do I want to “experience”…. I want to work at McDonald’s… sure people do that all the time… you can go right down to McDonald’s and see them… yah… but the do it cause they need a job… they don’t do it for the “experience”… It’s kind of been a goal of mine for a while… and now that I have attended Rogue CC… I totally feel qualified… I’ll keep you all up dated on the events…. meanwhile… I’ve “Half-Assed” my way through another term… So far the grades I know about have been B’s… I bet I’ll get at least one “C” probably in My literature class… It was probably the most challenging. I got a “B” in my Psychology class… It was a telecourse… I spent two hours studying… total… I opened my book the first time one hour before I took the mid-term… and the second time one hour before the final. I thought about studying more… maybe getting an “A”… but what would that prove… that I’m smart… no… cause the class is too stupid and pointless… So I proved I am not smart… but I am some sort of half-assed “B” student…which is better I think…actually I don’t even think two hours qualifies me for “Half-Assed”…. it is a 3 credit hour course… eleven weeks… that is a 33 hour class… two hours studying, and half an hour for each test… that’s “1/11th-Assed”….no where near “half” … I guess we’ll see how the rest of my classes go.

04
Jun
07

Alright, alright, alright already…. geeze! I’m sorry….

I’m surprised at the lack of an outcry… it is June 3rd today… and I still haven’t given you the updated “desktop calendar”…. And I know this is going to cause even more of a problem…. but Dan made the calendar again… but come on people… he deserved it look at that fish… and besides I haven’t received any better submissions than this…. you can send your submissions for next month to aarontoddalden@yahoo.com

and remember… we want a patriotic theme….

June 2007

03
Jun
07

They came from the water

I worked really hard on Thursday, so I was completely worn out by the time Dan and I made it up to the lake. We fixed ourselves some cheeseburgers and headed off to bed. I had left town in such a hurry that I had neglected to bring my air mattress… It is camping after all…. Morning came early for me… and I really didn’t want to wake up… even to go fishing. I woke up to Dan yelling….”Aaron….. wake up…. I’m being attacked by strange beetles”… Since there was no actual urgency in his voice, I just yelled “I don’t care, I’m not getting up.”… after laying there for a couple minutes I decided to get up anyway…. when I opened up my tent I could see exactly what he was talking about Nymph there were hundreds of these little bugs crawling all over the place…. I thought that was a little bit weird… they kind of looked like these shells of bugs that I had seen the other day… and my friend Jesse tried to tell me that they were from dragonflies…. I try to double check all facts from friends… regardless of the source…. But I hadn’t had time to double check that one…. anyway, I started looking around in the trees to see if any of them were doing anything dragonfly like… and sure enough…Nymph 2 it could have been the strangest thing I have ever seen… it could be the strangest thing I ever will see. They were climbing out of the little bugs bodies… their bodies were all short and their wings were all rolled up… but after about an hour they looked like full sized dragonflies… and an hour after that… they were flying… it was pretty amazing to witness. By night they were all gone… and the next morning I didn’t see any more… so I suppose we were just in the right place at the right time.Nymph 3Nymph 4