Archive for March, 2007


The Dumbing Down of America

I am attending classes at the very prestigious Rogue Community College, and I think I am reasonably intelligent, but very lazy. So my point is that I totally half-assed school this term… I put absolutely no effort in…. until the last week….For example…Monday night, finals week, I thought it might be a good idea to look over some of my History Final study questions… I got through a third of them…. Tuesday morning I am surprised to find out that we have the final that morning…. luckily the questions he asked happened to be the ones I studied…. then on Wednesday I stay up all night typing my research paper for my writing class… barely get two thirds of it completed…. and on top of that, I didn’t have time to study for my any of my other finals… walked in after being awake for 24 hour and aced my Intro. to Films final…. then turned in my unfinished research paper….. then when I am up for 19 hours I walk into my philosophy class, I managed to look at exactly 4 of the study guide questions…. and when i look at my test  I those four were on there…. and a bunch of others that I don’t really have any clue about, but I give my best B.S. perspective on what I think Socrates meant by “knowledge is a virtue” and what “situational ethics” are…. even though I had no clue what the real answers were… I threw in a couple stories about Jean-Claude Van Damme…

When it was all over, I felt horrible I knew I had to have failed half of my classes…. and what was worse is I knew I deserved to fail….. but the fact remains that life just isn’t fair…. nobody actually gets what they deserve…….and what do I get 1-A, 3-B’s, and 2-C’s….. I was up for 42 hours but…. still pulled it off…. ridiculous… what is this world coming to?


Two Birds with one stone…. sort of…

So my mom’s truck is broken down….. and she needs to get over to my grandmother’s….so the decent person that I am…. I give her a ride… right?…. this is not important to my story but I thought it might work as a character reference for people who don’t know me…. and it sets up the back-story…. to the incident….

I am driving along, with my mom. Ahead of me I see a bird fly up and land right in the middle of my lane. Thinking this is funny and past experience with birds in the road, I say, “Say good-bye, Bird.” Then I don’t slow down, and I don’t swerve…. because from past experience I know the bird will move…. I get closer, and closer, and time slows down, almost to a stop as I realize too late, that the bird is not paying attention to the bright red honda, carrying myself, my mother, and appearently the grim reaper. It attempts to fly, but doesn’t even make it above my bumper. THUD.

My mom, in shock, says “I can’t believe you just hit that little bird!” And I’m like, “I know it looks bad, I never should have said…” and out of the corner of my eye I see a bird, coming in fast from my right…… and it flies right into my bumper….. “what the hell is going on???” I say, as my mom is berating my for the death of yet another bird.

I totally gave up trying to defend myself…. there is not one court in this country… or even in the most bird hatin’ist country in the world….. that would not convict me of two counts of vehicular birdslaughter… if not one count of birdslaughter and another of premeditated avianicide.

“Then I heard him say, ‘Say good-bye, bird!’ right before he killed the first one.”

“Well I think we’ve heard enough…. well lets not waste any time…. I say, Hang the Bastard!!!.”

and I’m like, “Thanks, Judge where’s my fair trial?”

and He’s like, “Fair trials are for Human Beings…with souls…. now, off to the gallows!!”

…Ridiculous… tow birds? If I’m completely honest that brings my bird count up to four….. a pigeon on the freeway two years ago, Central Point, OR…. a blackbird last year, out by Wimer, OR….. The blackbird I hit with the lumber rack on my truck then it fell and got caught…. just for a second… on the window….. and I swear it looked at me…. right before it disappeared from my sight.



My life is so engrossed in school that I don’t have time to do… well this… well I guess I do have time, but I really should be doing something else…. like sleeping would be good…. but I  have to keep up on this… cause I like it…. it keeps me sane…. sort of. Anyway it lets me vent about the stress in my life… it lets me express myself…. gee that sounds artsy and shit don’t it. It’s probably because I am attending the very prestigious Rogue Community College, where I am receiving a proper education…. well kind of. I feel Like I am poorly suited for school, I have a very short attention span, and a horrible work ethic. I have 20 journal entries due on Thursday I should have been writing them all term, but I wrote 7 the other day so I’m closer. I also have to turn in my rough draft of my 12 page research paper… I have 5 pages done so far…. I’m in pretty deep, but I kind of enjoy it …as long as I can get away with it…. there is great satisfaction in postponing all my schoolwork and studying until the last minute and then showing up and pulling off a decent grade. It’s kinda like sticking it to the man…. who ever he is…. I get the most satisfaction out of this technique in my ethics class. For mid-terms I never opened my book until nine o’clock the night before the test… and got a 95…. on the other hand I have picked up this horrible habit of typing for days and yet saying very little sorry.