Archive for the 'booze' Category



My greatest accomplishment lately has been nothing… but hey at least I’m consistent. I got really busy with school and couldn’t keep up with the Ugly Face Wednesdays, which is okay, because I originally thought it would motivate me to keep updating my blog, but it has become more of a crutch, and  while it has been entertaining and fun, and now I feel like I let Cari down (Sorry, thanks for letting me ride the Ugly train), and now I don’t think it is necessary anymore… I just need to produce more… more photoshop images, and some short stories… and, hell, poetry even… I took a poetry class last term, and another one this term so, like, I’m officially a poet, I should post some stuff… right… well… anyway… I have a lot of other stuff… working on some songs with my brother… but as usual I need to work harder and finish my projects… Black-Out Aaron has gotten out of control, and now he must die… I used to have total coverage in my life, but then I joined the party too much and face it I’m no Hunter S. Thompson… so now here is the pact: More Posts, Total Coverage.

…. and otherwise everything is going great… Dan has this amazing “Redneck Fantasy Factory” thing going although we need to come up with a better name before MTV sues us… but yeah: motocross track, studio, bar… we had a White Trash Bash theme party that was a total hit, but I don’t have any pictures yet because I am totally ashamed of my behavior and haven’t talked to anyone yet… and it is Reagan’s Birthday today!!!! the big ONE…

So I plan on getting things back to the good old days. New camera, total coverage, new movies, stories, maybe a web series… it is time to get on it. It is snowing right now, but the weather should be changing.

Aaron Todd Alden Esq.  is back, Black-Out Aaron is dead. I don’t think anyone will miss him.

Yours truly and sincerely and whatever,

Aaron Todd Alden Esq.


One More For The Giffer

I made some animations from some of our Holiday Neck Beard photos.


All quiet on the western front

Not much is going on in my life… I guess it is just too good. I went camping, It was sunny, but I regret not bringing a kite, Howard Prairie is like the Chicago of lakes… windy and cold.. still, I had a good time. truck-and-boats

After camping, literally immediately after pulling into, my brother, Dan’s driveway, my truck contracted the Toyota swine flu, and can no longer reach speeds above 35 mph. Odd a true mystery to me. So now I command the roads from the overly plush seats of the Cadillac, no big deal at 10 miles to the gallon. An odd thing happened the other day; at school, a girl told me that I looked like Dennis Quaid…. odd I thought…


I kind of gave her a puzzled look… cause i don’t really see the resemblance… so then she specified more of just the eye area… still?…


I don’t get it… maybe it was just supposed to be a polite way of saying that I’m starting to look old, or getting wrinkles around my eyes… on the other hand, at times I do see some similarities between the two of us… this picture for instance really reminds me of me…

dennis-quaid-bunte-0905aI mean, you can see that one right… I don’t have any pictures of me in that exact pose, otherwise I would totally post them… but it kinda looks like me with darker hair right?… but then again maybe this girl was the one that was really confused… maybe she meant Randy Quaid and not Dennis…


Cause, yeah, that one I could definatly see… so that is a possibility… maybe I will have to ask her if I see her around school.


Financing a slurpee

First thing I did on Tuesday was, went down to 7-Eleven and financed a Slurpee… Why?… cause I didn’t have the money to pay for it of course… Why you ask?… Very simple… LAS VEGAS, Baby!!… It was quite possibly the greatest weekend of my life. Wild. It all started with our plane being delayed a couple hours… not too big of a deal. When we got there though it was instantly worth it. We were staying at Mandalay Bay, which I highly recommend. They have nice rooms, nice pool. The downside was that it was on one end of the strip, so quite a hike… tram passes saved our lives.

This was the view from Dan and Erica’s room on the 30th floor. And life was good.

To be quite honest it is hard to recollect exactly what happend on the trip, but I will do my best. Friday we arrived from our plane ride, and checked into our rooms… awesome… then we ate dinner… awesome… then we hit the casinos… awesome… then we hiked six or eight blocks to buy beer from a little market for way too much money… awesome (the next day we found out there was a market half a block from our hotel… oops). But all was good. Partied the night away. The next day I woke up from my hangover… and no-one else was up… so I went to the pool. The pools were nice there was a couple regular pools… then they had a wave pool, that was cool, but basically made for small children… small waves… then there was the lazy river… that flowed in a circle… but you weren’t allowed to have drinks in the pool. Then I went back to the room… we went and got breakfast… then went back to the pools… we left there at about noon and hit the sites/casinos… we saw a bunch of the hotels… we walked half way down the strip and got tram tickets… made it to circus circus the whole time looking for a veil for Erica… cause she was getting married the next day… finally at circus circus we found a bridal shop, but they were closed… on the far end of the strip, the casinos are shadier, and the beers are cheaper… we gamble away for a little while, have ourselves a good time, then head back to the hotel… with plans to stop at the Belagio on the way…. we are cruizing right along… I picked up a sweet red goblet glass at the Sahara… and I am drinking beer out of it, I am feeling fairly inebriated… but not bad… the next thing I notice is that I am in Coyote Ugly, at the Excaliber. I turn to my friends, and start my detective work, “Hey, uh, I mean I’m not too worried about this and it is cool and all, but… how did I get here?… I thought we were going back to the hotel?”… appearently my memory gap was about three hours long… we had gone to the Belagio, and back to the hotel… I had passed out on Dan and Erica’s bed, they had played games of slaping me and drawing crude things on my face… then finally got me to wake up and go back to my room… for another little nap… then they woke me up and we went back to the Excalibur…

So there I was… I was dancing… (awesomely as I remember… I’m sure it looked great… one of the bartenders offered to pour liquor in my mouth… it turned out to taste like fruit punch, and the stopper in the bottle wasn’t in right and she spilt it all over the front of my white shirt… cool… then we went back to the casino floor… and there were these go go dancers at the roullette tables… or were they black jack tables… well anyway there were go go dancers… and one of them was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen… I looked at here and smiled… she smiled back…. so of course… I asked her to marry me… turns out she was already married… but I had to try… so we cruised around… saw some Canadian girls that tried to poke Jon’s eye out… then we went back to the room… and slept while The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly played on the T.V. I then woke up at noon… we ate breakfast, while Dan and Erica ran down to Circus Circus for a veil… the it was time to shower, iron clothes, then the limo showed up to take us to the Graceland Chapel…

Then we went to old towne Freemont street… had a great time… everyone was drinking, but I don’t remember it ever being out of control….

Then we went back to the hotel room… and the girls went to sleep… but that town was hoppin’… so us guys were left with no choice but to go out and experience Las Vegas proper… last night there… so we went to ummmm…. clubs all night… made it back just in time to get showers… hit the slots… and catch our shuttle to the airport… we were just Jazzed and chock full of energy….. well kinda…

And we got home safe and sound… everyone broke… but everyone alive and not in jail… so I consider that a win… all in all… a great trip.

Memorable Fuzzy Moments:

Very audibly telling drug dealer that “No, I DON’T WANT ANY CRANK” apparently he had asked if I wanted coke… but I misunderstood.

Oh, Las Vegas… I have so many amazing stories that I can never tell…


Hero To Zero: The Danny Ray Cyrus Story

Rat On a Cheetah Films just completed another hit video. It was pretty much Dan’s idea… and a good one at that. As usual there was no script written out before hand so everybody pretty much adlibbed their lines or at least adlibbed them on the take before… and considering that I am impressed with how it turned out.

Rat on a Cheetah Films

A Whiskey Dick’s Production

Starring: Dan Alden, Erica Alden, Boston Bean Alden, Aaron Todd Alden Esq., Matt Alden, Tim Alden, Scott Lewis, Tasha Lewis, and Jesse Fu$*ing Smith

Warning: This Video Contains Excessive Use Of Obscenities, and it is very loud.

the video is at :

I am still trying to figure out what happened in Vegas, and just how to explain it. So maybe someday you can read about that… but for now you get this.


The Banjo McMurphy 2008 Blind-Folded Mini-Golf Open

It was a spectacular turn out on this summers day. It was a group that perfectly represented America. The perfectly diverse Southern Oregon group of young and old, and people of different races, all coming together… to fight each other, over one prize. Of the 17 people that showed up to compete, there were 5 elder people that didn’t associate with the rest of us, one token black girl, and a bunch of whities. Like I said, perfectly representative.
Anyway the competition was stiff. The rules were, that you had to be blindfolded for the first stroke of every hole. The competition dominated the family fun center. The language of competition golf play seemed to clash with the family atmosphere… a lot of parents were shocked and children were amazed. Some of the competitors dressed up, while others remained in their casual clothes, hoping the comfort might give them an edge.
Team Whiskey… named for obvious reasons… was by far the loudest team…
The loud flashy team seemed to dominate the attention of the entire establishment, and just when things would quite down, you would hear, ” Team… WHISKEYYYYYY!”
The competition made themselves known, but I don’t have pictures of the rest of them.
Yet the competition went on, nobody was arrested and nobody was kicked out… and nobody was killed…
… that was a win in itself. At the end of the night the strokes were tallied… there was some confusion on the part of our drunken host… but eventually the awards were given.
Best Dressed of course went to me.
Worst score went to Stephanie… she was a good sport and she took her prize gracefully…
And The winner of the Banjo McMurphy 2008 Blind-Folded Mini-Golf Open was Dan “King of the Mini Putter” Alden
Hope to see you all out there again next year, or at the next Banjo McMurphy production.


John Mayer Douchebag… or Genius… think about it

So I was looking at Yahoo news and there is a headline…

Aniston’s Bad Choice; According to this blogger, John Mayer is overrated, and Jennifer Aniston can certainly do better.

Like just cause they have a blog their opinion matters, everyone has blogs… they’re free… this person writes for shine/yahoo… I doubt she gets paid much… I bet this whole blogger thing has kicked the shit out of freelance journalism… you get just as good of work for free…. and it is the same… other peoples opinions that don’t matter… besides, I don’t understand you guys are so hard on John Mayer for getting a girl that is too good for him, every guy tries to get chicks that are out of their league… that is the point… Nobody wants to date girls the girls that are in their league… that is like eating the generic cereal… sure it taste pretty much the same… but there is something just not right about it… besides John Mayer and I have a lot in common… it really gives hope to guys like me… I’m like the generic “John Mayer”… like a Jon Maier… with my hit songs; “Your Body Is A Waterbed” and ” Waiting For The World To Make Change”… of course I’m not waiting anymore, I found the secret

Me making change

You would automatically think that it is bad luck to steal people’s change out of wishing ponds… it’s like stealing their wishes… bad luck… right… well, not if you run it through one of those penny souvenir stamper things… now it says “My lucky penny… Oregon”…


which is fitting, cause Oregon is my favorite state… I live here… I was born here… that is all I know… so who cares if John Mayer is banging Jennifer Aniston… I think he’s awesome… I don’t like his music… but it obviously works for him… and that is awesome… as a matter of fact I think John Mayer deserves a sticker… it would look like this….

You're Awesome Sticker

So… Yahoo… yes I’m talking to you… I’m a blogger… you tell the world what I say…