Archive for the 'The Things I See!' Category

03
Sep
09

Gallows

Here it is… (drumroll…………………………………………………………………………………………..) The unveiling (continuing drum roll…………………………………………………………………………….) I give you……

This is the previously unreleased Gallows by June Marie… It was shot at the Gap at the Rogue Valley Mall in Medford, Oregon. A show where the band was paid in pants. I need better equipment for shooting things like this… and better planning…

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03
Mar
09

Sundance Kid

For some reason, I really like this song… it is a little different than my usual tastes, but I really like it…

It is by Kent. It is titled “Sundance Kid.” It is off of the album Vapen och Ammunition.Yeah, I know… I don’t speak swedish either… but I still like it. English songs distract me when I’m doing my homework, so this works great for that. Other good homework music is bluegrass instrumentals, instrumental surf rock, and spaghetti western theme music, all of which has channels on Pandora.com.

24
Feb
09

Is Obama the Anti-Christ?

Uh… probably not… at least I hope not… It is odd though how caught up people are getting. It is good to be excited about your country. It is good to be patriotic. It is good to love your President. However, it is not good to get all stupid and googly eyed over him. You can’t get so caught up in the idea of him, that ignore everything he is actually doing. I’m not saying that he has some sinister ulterior motives. I’m not saying that he is going to run this country into the ground. His economic plans seem a little sideways and far fetched, but hell, I’m no economist. Whatever. All I’m saying is keep your guard up. He’s still just a man, and no matter what anybody says, he is still a polititian. The reason I am even approaching this subject is because I was looking at yahoo news yesterday, and they had a story on Obama. It had a picture with it from AP News. It had Obama’s head framed by the presidential seal. Now the reporter who took this is supposed to be objective. I know there is no objectivity in journalism, but they are supposed to at least try.This photo was not journalism, it was straight propaganda.

“So much for Objective Journalism. Don’t bother to look for it here — not under any byline of mine; or anyone else I can think of. With the possible exception of things like box scores, race results, and stock market tabulations, there is no such thing as Objective Journalism. The phrase itself is a pompous contradiction in terms.” – Hunter S. Thompson, excerpted from Fear and Loathing: On The Campaign Trail ‘72

20
Jul
08

Financing a slurpee

First thing I did on Tuesday was, went down to 7-Eleven and financed a Slurpee… Why?… cause I didn’t have the money to pay for it of course… Why you ask?… Very simple… LAS VEGAS, Baby!!… It was quite possibly the greatest weekend of my life. Wild. It all started with our plane being delayed a couple hours… not too big of a deal. When we got there though it was instantly worth it. We were staying at Mandalay Bay, which I highly recommend. They have nice rooms, nice pool. The downside was that it was on one end of the strip, so quite a hike… tram passes saved our lives.

This was the view from Dan and Erica’s room on the 30th floor. And life was good.

To be quite honest it is hard to recollect exactly what happend on the trip, but I will do my best. Friday we arrived from our plane ride, and checked into our rooms… awesome… then we ate dinner… awesome… then we hit the casinos… awesome… then we hiked six or eight blocks to buy beer from a little market for way too much money… awesome (the next day we found out there was a market half a block from our hotel… oops). But all was good. Partied the night away. The next day I woke up from my hangover… and no-one else was up… so I went to the pool. The pools were nice there was a couple regular pools… then they had a wave pool, that was cool, but basically made for small children… small waves… then there was the lazy river… that flowed in a circle… but you weren’t allowed to have drinks in the pool. Then I went back to the room… we went and got breakfast… then went back to the pools… we left there at about noon and hit the sites/casinos… we saw a bunch of the hotels… we walked half way down the strip and got tram tickets… made it to circus circus the whole time looking for a veil for Erica… cause she was getting married the next day… finally at circus circus we found a bridal shop, but they were closed… on the far end of the strip, the casinos are shadier, and the beers are cheaper… we gamble away for a little while, have ourselves a good time, then head back to the hotel… with plans to stop at the Belagio on the way…. we are cruizing right along… I picked up a sweet red goblet glass at the Sahara… and I am drinking beer out of it, I am feeling fairly inebriated… but not bad… the next thing I notice is that I am in Coyote Ugly, at the Excaliber. I turn to my friends, and start my detective work, “Hey, uh, I mean I’m not too worried about this and it is cool and all, but… how did I get here?… I thought we were going back to the hotel?”… appearently my memory gap was about three hours long… we had gone to the Belagio, and back to the hotel… I had passed out on Dan and Erica’s bed, they had played games of slaping me and drawing crude things on my face… then finally got me to wake up and go back to my room… for another little nap… then they woke me up and we went back to the Excalibur…

So there I was… I was dancing… (awesomely as I remember… I’m sure it looked great… one of the bartenders offered to pour liquor in my mouth… it turned out to taste like fruit punch, and the stopper in the bottle wasn’t in right and she spilt it all over the front of my white shirt… cool… then we went back to the casino floor… and there were these go go dancers at the roullette tables… or were they black jack tables… well anyway there were go go dancers… and one of them was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen… I looked at here and smiled… she smiled back…. so of course… I asked her to marry me… turns out she was already married… but I had to try… so we cruised around… saw some Canadian girls that tried to poke Jon’s eye out… then we went back to the room… and slept while The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly played on the T.V. I then woke up at noon… we ate breakfast, while Dan and Erica ran down to Circus Circus for a veil… the it was time to shower, iron clothes, then the limo showed up to take us to the Graceland Chapel…

Then we went to old towne Freemont street… had a great time… everyone was drinking, but I don’t remember it ever being out of control….

Then we went back to the hotel room… and the girls went to sleep… but that town was hoppin’… so us guys were left with no choice but to go out and experience Las Vegas proper… last night there… so we went to ummmm…. clubs all night… made it back just in time to get showers… hit the slots… and catch our shuttle to the airport… we were just Jazzed and chock full of energy….. well kinda…

And we got home safe and sound… everyone broke… but everyone alive and not in jail… so I consider that a win… all in all… a great trip.

Memorable Fuzzy Moments:

Very audibly telling drug dealer that “No, I DON’T WANT ANY CRANK” apparently he had asked if I wanted coke… but I misunderstood.

Oh, Las Vegas… I have so many amazing stories that I can never tell…

06
Jul
08

I don’t know why….

I just wrote a short play… I don’t know why… I was just watching a video on Funny or Die and it wasn’t even really related to this, but this idea struck me funny… I don’t know where it came from… but I just started writing and this is what I got… I don’t know what I will do with it… it doesn’t have a strong finish… if anyone has any suggestions…feel free to chime in.

Between a Man and Woman

Phone rings… man picks it up

Man: Hello?

Woman: We need to talk, can we meet for dinner?

Man:… yeah, sure.

They set up time and place… whatever.

They are at restaurant.

Man: So what is this about?

Woman: Well, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.

Man: But, we aren’t even dating… we are just friends.

Woman: Yeah, but I just can’t do this anymore.

Man: Listen, we don’t have to break up.

Woman: No, I think we do… I just can’t take it anymore.

Man: No, I mean we aren’t dating. We don’t have to break up. If you don’t want to be friends all you have to do is stop hanging out with me. I mean, I don’t even know your phone number… you are the one who calls to hang out with me…

Woman: Exactly my point. I don’t think you are putting enough effort in to this relationship.

Man: What relationship? We are just friends.

Woman: Not any more.

Man: (confused, but playing along) O.K. well that’s fine. I guess we won’t hang out anymore.

Woman: I’m glad you are taking this well.

Man: Uh, yeah, well I’m gonna get going.

Woman: O.K. well, do you want to go to the zoo tomorrow?

Man:…

Woman: I thought you liked the zoo?

Man: Well yeah I like the zoo, but why would we hang out together if we aren’t friends?

Woman: Well I didn’t mean that we’d go as friends… I just thought… you know… we could go as strangers, or something… I mean… we can still be strangers right?

The End.

That is what I got… weird eh? Sometimes I creep myself out… what a freak.

27
Jun
08

How to pick up girls, when you have a creepy mustache- chapter one

Creepy mustache

It is the same story over and over. You have grown up waiting for that moment when you could grow a sweet-ass mustache like Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck. Now that you have this sweet-ass mustache, you are finding that it is even harder to meet girls than before you had any facial hair. This is not uncommon. Mustaches are a bold statement and will intimidate many girls. This means that it will take a little extra work on your part. Sure you could shave off your mustache, but then you are competing with all those other face shaving sheep.

Many people these days refer to “Sweet-ass Mustaches” as “Creepy Mustaches.” This is because the Mustaches personality is all in how you wear it. If you are timid it is “creepy”… bold and it is “Sweet-ass.” I assume that if you are reading this it is because you have a “Creepy Mustache,” and desire to turn things around. You are in luck I have a few tips that may help.

Tip #1: Buy a vehicle that compliments your “Creepy Mustache”

Creepy mustache van

Girls like a guy with reliable transportation and come on… vans just scream “Party!”

Tip #2: Dress Appropriately

With a mustache girls begin to think, “this guy must be too good to be true… there has to be a catch.” Therefore it is best to show that you have the whole package. Tight Pants help accentuate what ever figure you have… girls like this… also a good addition would be a shiny tight shirt, cause girls like shiny things. It is best to wear the shirt half buttoned. Nothing complements a “sweet-ass” mustache like “sweet-ass” chest hair; so show it. Girls like accessories like big shiny belt buckles, and big shiny watches, and chains with dragon pendants. This lets them know that you have money and good taste. If you don’t have a shiny tight button up shirt it can be replaced with a groovy t-shirt with a “sweet-ass” logo and an inappropriate v-neck. Here are some visual examples

Creepy Mustache attireCreepy Mustache v neck
Tip #3: Know where to meet girls.

Mustaches are a style that has experienced a lull in the fashion world. They have often come in and out of style throughout history. They were huge during the seventies, but less so in the eighties and nineties. Now we are experiencing resurgence in mustaches, but because of this the demographic of women that like mustaches are split with a group in the middle that is missing out. Ignore the girls in the middle, they grew up in a confused time and it is unlikely you can rehabilitate them into mustache lovers. Instead hang out at places that support the demographic of women that like mustaches. I suggest bingo halls and high schools.

Thank you for your time. Look forward to future tips, and buy my books and videos on this subject when they come out. A special thanks to Alex Shane and Samantha Clark for helpful suggestions.

Sincerely,

Aaron Todd Alden Esq.

26
Jun
08

The Banjo McMurphy 2008 Blind-Folded Mini-Golf Open

It was a spectacular turn out on this summers day. It was a group that perfectly represented America. The perfectly diverse Southern Oregon group of young and old, and people of different races, all coming together… to fight each other, over one prize. Of the 17 people that showed up to compete, there were 5 elder people that didn’t associate with the rest of us, one token black girl, and a bunch of whities. Like I said, perfectly representative.
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Anyway the competition was stiff. The rules were, that you had to be blindfolded for the first stroke of every hole. The competition dominated the family fun center. The language of competition golf play seemed to clash with the family atmosphere… a lot of parents were shocked and children were amazed. Some of the competitors dressed up, while others remained in their casual clothes, hoping the comfort might give them an edge.
Team Whiskey… named for obvious reasons… was by far the loudest team…
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The loud flashy team seemed to dominate the attention of the entire establishment, and just when things would quite down, you would hear, ” Team… WHISKEYYYYYY!”
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The competition made themselves known, but I don’t have pictures of the rest of them.
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Yet the competition went on, nobody was arrested and nobody was kicked out… and nobody was killed…
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… that was a win in itself. At the end of the night the strokes were tallied… there was some confusion on the part of our drunken host… but eventually the awards were given.
Best Dressed of course went to me.
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Worst score went to Stephanie… she was a good sport and she took her prize gracefully…
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And The winner of the Banjo McMurphy 2008 Blind-Folded Mini-Golf Open was Dan “King of the Mini Putter” Alden
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Hope to see you all out there again next year, or at the next Banjo McMurphy production.