24
Aug
08

Lonely in love: Part II

I was at my brothers house, which has been the site of many of my worst decisions, which is a good preface for what all has happend this weekend…. but then again you could say that a lot of good has been done as well… and it could take years to figure out which is which… anyway we where hanging out talking over a few beers… reminiscing about years gone by, and moments of greatness… naturally the topic turned to our neck beards… my personal, crowning achievment… and I was like oh, I forgot, there was that one time when I was going to write a personals ad for my neckbeard on Craigslist, but I never got around to it… anyway to get to the point, by the end of the night I had my own personals ad up… it was intended for my mustache… but as my mustache was not feeling very photogenic, and the only camera we had was a cell phone… the add eventually ended up with this picture… and the add read…

I’m 22 and it’s my birthday. – 26 (Medford)

I have been checking the competition here on craigslist, and to be quite honest, I’m looking pretty good. We have

Girl Wanted!!!!!= Creepy on Craiglsist
Finally Free and ready to date medford area= Escaped convict, finally free to kill and rape again.

The only thing creepy about me is my awesome hip mustache and my crazy cool fashion sense. My interests are: quantum physics, obscure British imperialist literature, American beauty waltzes, early American folk music, spelunking, the Dewey-Decimal system, African-American history month,… oh… and sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. So I would say that I am a pretty well rounded individual, intellectually… and super sexy hot, physically (see picture below). Not that I’m all that stuck up, but I am just o.k. with my appearance.

What I am looking for is a female… with a pulse… no kids… “Hip”, if at all possible… someone looking to enjoy life.
(I love kids… just not yours… I also like puppies.) Messages with pics get replies. Your face gets my face.

So that was really funny at the time… and still… you see “Creepy on Craigslist” is this guy

And “Escaped Convict”… this guy…

So that was my competition… oh and some blurry guy… who took offense… and wrote a post about me… but we got thing sorted out… anyway I thought the whole thing was pretty funny… although a lot of those ads are very sad… I chose the creepy ones to make fun of… and my ad reads like I am some pompus ass-hole… and I did not expect any resposes… and the origional plan with the neckbeard would have been guarenteed no responses… but sure enough… some girl did respond

“Hey, saw your post.  DO you like asian women?  What part of town are
you in? Are you around  ?”

What a strange question… undoubtedly… she must be asian… but still that seems like a strange question to ask someone… besides I was expecting pictures… and a picture would have sorted that out for her… but she did not send me a picture… I don’t even know how to respond… I wasn’t planning on having to… naturally I can’t be nice to her… I must go on living the lie… there is no backing out now… so I will repsond with…

“Why so many questions? Did you ask if I like asian women, because you are an asian woman, or because you like guys who like asian women?”

That should be suitable… hopefully that will get a response, but still scare her off… who knows… women are wierd… and women on craigslist are the wierdest…

we also started work on a stop motion film about hunting… it was origionally supposed to be claymation, but we found some super-narly-awesome action figures with like 16 points of articulation… so that’s pretty rad… and it will save a ton of time… and… we bought tickets to see Willie Nelson next Saturday… so all in all a good weekend.

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