27
Apr
07

Now Is Not The Time For Dreams

No Cadillac… I killed the dream… the fact of the matter is that… I have no job and all my money would go straight into the gas tank, never to be seen again. I’m o.k. with this, I don’t need a caddy, I can trick girls into liking me with out it…. totally… anyway despite this set back I have been doing great… My grandfather had to go to the hospital today; he’s going to be fine…. but because of the whole ordeal I was forced/blessed with a chance to hang out with my grandma, and actually talk. No distractions. It was great. She is so smart and so sharp in spite of having a stroke 10 years ago. She was talking about how she is so happy with us grand kids, (Mom – if you are reading this stop this is far enough.)  and she said how when my little brothers girlfriend was living there that she was worried that he would knock her up…. she didn’t use those words, but that’s what she meant… hell, even my mom won’t admit that my little brother has sex…. but it doesn’t really bother my grandmother… she just doesn’t want any unexpected grandchildren. So, she knows what is going on, a lot more than people give her credit for. And I actually told her how good it was to talk to her, which fits right in with this new kick I’ve got going. I have this huge urge to tell everyone exactly how I feel…. I just feel really good about everything… and I think people should know. I’m hanging out with this girl from school, and it is not really a possibility to date her…. but she totally fascinates me right now… but I didn’t actually tell her this I just made fun of her with lame jokes…. but I’ll see her again. I also had this really cool conversation with a highschool kid that was at the emergency room. He had dislocated his elbow skateboarding. I don’t even know why he started talking to me. I tried to explain how you can’t live completely fearless for ever… eventually you have to take it easy… you won’t always have your parents insurance to pay your hospital bills…. And I shared some of my broken bones stories… and he looks at me with seemingly deep understanding… and said…. “but, at least we’ve really lived right.”… and I laughed, and he laughed… but I don’t think he’ll get the joke for a couple years… if he makes it that long… but it was good kicks to talk to someone that optimistic about life, those people are few and far between.

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