Free Pregnancy Test…. Yippeee!….?

This was on the bulletin board at the college I attend… I have a feeling that it is just a creepy old man, who figures this is a good way to pick up college chicks… maybe he’s right… I mean at least he knows they put out…. anyway just in case he is legitimate I blurred his number….I thought it was especially funny that most of the numbers where taken…. when I discussed my find with some people, one girl pointed out that you can get pregnancy tests at the dollar store….for a dollar…. or go to Wal*mart and get them for $4…. What ever… I thought it was funny…. I’m thinking about calling the number and asking if it is a creepy old man…. or if any of you want the number email me…

There is nothing cool on the internet

I have seen it all…. I have seen a pigeon wearing a fez… it had babies… sometimes they wear the fez… I found the coolest page on the internet
…. I have seen all the cool things that he has done… and that was it there is nothing cool left…… I have seen the first and the last pages…. everything…. I hope to do something cool someday…. someday soon…. I want to go on a trip… to anywhere… that would be cool… maybe like Gold Hill or something… think about it.

Howard Prairie

I really don’t know what to say…. camping was too much fun… then Jack tried to kill me…. I don’t remember anything else…. I’ve been home two days… I still don’t feel 100%…. can’t wait until next weekend… we will be camping at the Grizzley campground at Howard Prairie….Everyone is welcome to come along… except Jack… he is not invited, and nobody is allowed to bring him… I don’t even want to see his face.

I am sorry… not really… this was like the best day ever… say do you think this is too long for a title?

When I woke up this morning, I knew it was a good day. This feeling was affirmed when I found a four-leaf clover in my front yard. Naturally I took a picture. Then off to school. I had my doubts about how lucky I was, when I walked into my oceanography class and presented with a surprise test. Well it wasn’t a surprise to anyone but me… I really need to read my syllabus, and get a calendar or something… But it was frighteningly easy… (I feel like I’m going to a school for the mentally challenged)… after leaving the class, quite satisfied with my performance (we’ll have to wait for the actual results)… I headed to my car to drop off some books… and on my way there I notice that someone has just purchased a brand new Nissan pickup… I can tell it was a new purchase by the fact that the felt the need to take up two parking spaces…. I present to you exhibit A…

You can clearly see in this picture (since I highlighted it) the “offender” is clearly over the yellow line. This may piss off some people… but I didn’t really care…. It’s kind of cute that they are babying their new toy…. but it struck me funny that they didn’t park directly over the yellow line…. and if somebody had a small enough car… and they possessed the blackest of hearts… and if they were generally just an asshole… they could probably still park next to this truck…. and it kind of struck me funny cause I new there wasn’t a single person that mischievous or evil enough to do that… but it still struck me funny…. so I give you exhibit B…

And yes, that is my car…. and as you can see I am clearly in my parking spot… and with plenty of room to spare… I know… I am a horrible prick… but come on… it’s funny… and what I thought was even more funny is exhibit C…

Since I am selling my car… I happen to have my phone number plastered on signs all over my windows…. this may be a sexist comment but I am assuming that the “offender” was a woman… because any guy who would buy a truck… would be the type of guy who would call me up and tell me what a prick I am… but the call never came… so lady… I’m sorry I parked so close… but it was totally worth it cause it totally made my day.

But that’s not all… after school I got ready for the camping trip… Dan and I went up to Howard Prairie and staked out our claim for a camping spot. And check this out…

Me… In my boat… look how happy I am… I think I will be even more happy….

when I get my boat off of Will’s Truck and into the water…. Today was a good day… but tomorrow will be even better… and the day after… and the day after….

A Special thanks to Will for hauling my boat up to the lake… to Erica for taking the photos, and slicing the tomatoes… and to Dan for being the mastermind… behind everything… I tell you what… Memorial Day will definitely be a day to remember….

L - I - V - I - N

Hot Springs on Mars

I was reading the news… you know trying to stay up to date on what is happening in the world… and I came across an interesting article about Mars… see-

“Hints of past hot springs found on Mars

By Will Dunham Tue May 22, 6:16 PM ET

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A little

NASA

Mars rover has come across soil that scientists said on Tuesday suggests hot springs may have percolated long ago on the Martian surface, providing an environment conducive to life.”

What they say is that by analyzing this photo… it looks like silica…. and if it is silica… and if it is in as high levels as it appears… then it could be proof of hot springs… and hot springs could have supported life… maybe… and that is from NASA scientists… so I shouldn’t be making fun of them… cause they are smart… I mean… they are rocket scientists and stuff… but I still am going to make fun of them… which probably blows my chances at getting a job there… or even becoming an astronaut… but that’s o.k…. cause I think it is funny. It is funny because they are analyzing a photograph and completely guessing at all of it… and it is national news… they are smart… but I bet my geology instructor, Mike Strickler, (who I think looks like Henry Winkler) could make as good a call on this as them… or better for that matter… cause I have seen him work and he is a good geologist…. But all and all I think it is great that they can make a call like “this is proof of hot springs” from a light spot in the dirt of a photograph… I would need more proof than that to take it to national news status… I would need photos like this to prove existence of hot springs…

Josh Comes To Snaketown (The Movie)

Do I need any explanation?

Josh Comes To Snaketown: A Battle To The Death

Since the day we found the first snake in the studio, there has been a continuous battle between snake and man. There have been a total of six snakes that have infiltrated the security system of the studio, and wreaked havoc on the occupants (or at least scared a couple people). With any luck… those days are done. The last remaining force assembled their power (Josh and I)… and together we made one last attempt at victory… with a two stage battle plan.

Stage One: Secure the studio…
Josh did this by taking the handle from a yard tool and poking and prodding the ceiling. This was a very dangerous task requiring someone of Joshes talents…. my job on the other hand was… documenting the process… and of course I had Josh’s back just in case the shit hit the fan! (I apologize again for the use of the “Shit” word… I’ve tried it with out… and it is just funnier with it). Luckily no snakes were found.

Stage Two: Cut off access to the studio. This was done with a pair of hand pruners and involved cutting a tree limb that grew right up to a hole in the side of the studio. Again Josh held the position of action… while I watched… I didn’t even document it… instead I give you a reenactment with the help of Gene Simmons and Freddy Krueger action figures.…
… o.k. so it didn’t look anything like this… but after we cut the branch off we noticed a large chunk of molted snake skin on the branch…. So I think we have successfully defeated the snakes… for now…. so until the sequel… The snake hunters are now officially on summer vacation… and the rock and roll kids are safe at Red Tree Studios.

Signing Off,
Cpt. Aaron Todd Alden Esq. - Hero for Hire

Battle of the Bland

So I went to the Battle of the Bands Klamath Falls…. sponsored by KTEC and held at the OIT Gym… I was there to see the Throwbacks… So we made a mad dash for the show… I caught a ride with the Official Throwbacks Groupies… Madi and Katie….and Ursula… and we met up with the Throwbacks en route to the show…. I knew there would be trouble when the promised 400 spectators turned out to be about 75 Emo kids…. luckily I showed up half way in and only had to listen to like 5 of these horrible bands…. then the Throwbacks went on… they came on strong and with only one noticeable mistake….. played a very decent set… I woudn’t say that the crowd went wild… but it is pretty hard to get Emo kids to do anything… there were some kids that were obviously digging it… and the Throwbacks fans made more than ample noise… girls screaming and causing mayhem… reminiscent of early Beatles videos… it was good… after that a couple more crappy bands…. then the threat…. the local heroes Fat Sexy… and I knew they would be trouble when I saw the drummers pants… and his kit…. he had three kick drums, 7 cymbals, like five toms including 3 rotos… and before they started going… one of the judges introduced them…. which I should point out… nobody else got introduced by a judge… but people were yelling, cause of the spectacle they were about to see…. I knew the Throwbacks were in deep shit (pardon my language… but the situation was dire to say the least)…. and as soon as they hit their first cord I thought… what? They’re actually gonna start their set with a Darkness cover…. of course… the tension lifted, and lessened even more as the proceeded to butcher “I Beleive in a Thing Called Love.” The singing was just bad…. although he had the guitar licks down…. the bass players gimmick was that he was wireless and halfway through the song everyone noticed that he was up in the grandstands…. and when the song ended I’m like “o.k. lets see what these guys are made of…. and…. drum solo…. for at least fifteen minutes…. which completely violated the strict rules that everyone else had followed… then they played an original…. and it was soooo bad!…. one thing that I liked was that it gave each member their own chance in the spotlight…. lead guitar… very eighties glam… another drum solo… good….bass solo….. worse than me… and I admittedly suck…. it was brutal just to watch… and finally when they ended the judges tallied the votes…. and came back…. they anounced that the Throwbacks got third… and I’m like o.k…. and then second place was My Council, which I didn’t actually hear and have nothing bad to say about…. and first place went to… of course… Fat Sexy… they won… not by talent in singing or song writing… and it wasn’t sex appeal…. they won by cheap gimmicks and a good friendship with the judges…. after the show a lot of these punk and Emo kids came up and thanked the Throwbacks and told them how they should have won….

I knew that was how it was going to play out… I have seen several battle of the bands… and seen American Hit List completely dominate a crowd and still get second…. because the winner is always a friend of the judges…. so I don’t feel so bad… The Throwbacks shouldn’t either they played a great set…. and thanks to all you punk kids out there for coming out and rocking… long live Rock!

I’ve got nothing

Not much going on…. I don’t have anything to write… I have always said that my life was way better than Kerouac’s… and I still stand by that… as a mater of fact I recently experienced the most embarrassing moment of my entire life… but I can’t talk about it… for one it is still too close and It makes me feel stupid… and the other of course… to protect the innocent… I don’t think they would find out…. but it is a small town.

But I am actually very happy about “the most embarrassing moment… of my life,” because up until now I didn’t have one… sure I had embarrassing moments… but they were all standard, and there is a line where it can be a “most embarrassing moment of your life.” For example you can’t say “my most embarrassing moment is when I was reading in front of people… and I messed up on the word ‘the’.” cause that is lame… you know you are a lame boring person when your embarrassing moments are boring… ya know?… that seems about right… but now I have one… and eventually I will be able to expound on it during campfire talks and what not… just not right now.

The future looks bright, with great adventures ahead… My brother Dan is playing the “Battle of The Bands” in Klamath Falls on Friday… come on what could be more exciting than that…. and I have a field trip on Saturday for my geology class… we will be going to the redwoods… and I love the redwoods, so it should be good fun…. now all I need is a catch phrase to end my blogs…. like “thanks for reading… and please don’t die.” (it needs some work, but I kind of like it… I mean it is heart felt that I don’t want anyone to die… so it kind of works)

Touch me…. I’m Sick…

Sometimes even I think I’m weird… and this is why… so I’m studying for a midterm. It’s like 11:00 and I’m just starting my studying…. so I want to give myself time to go over my notes in the morning, so I set my…… [wait, hold on I'm listening to yahoo music right now and I was listening to Alice and Chains.... and the song that just came on is Sick Sick Sick off the new Queens of the Stone Age album.... weird....] anyway back to my story.. so I’m setting my alarm on my cell phone for 7:30 in the morning and it strikes me funny to use the “Polka” ring tone… why, because I hate polka, and I will hate it even more at 7:30 in the morning…. and I thought that would be really funny…. like a practical joke on myself…. which brings up all of these odd philosophical questions of self…. thinking of “myself in the morning” as almost a different person…. one that deserves to wake up to “Polka”…. and I still think it is kind of funny…. I just asked Josh if he has ever played a practical joke on himself…. he said no… I wonder if anyone else has… like sane… non-schizophrenic people…. anyone?….